Life without Void

Life without Void

Would anyone miss me? Does anyone love me? Does anyone care?
Just to go through life as a depressed, stressed and unloved person is unthinkable. I’m often misunderstood because people can not see my deepest thoughts, my deepest emotions, my deepest dreams, or my deepest scars. Crying in the inside for someone to listen when friends turn away. Losing a good friend is like losing your memory.
You have to start over completely.

School is a burden, but not only that; everything that accompanies school. Peer pressure to be something you’re not or do things that you know you will regret. Friends who will become close but still talk behind your back. And social activities that sometimes make you forget about your morals and what you really stand for.I went through school while being laughed at by society because I was not skinny…and never have been. Why can’t people see my beauty? Do I have any? How can I end it now? Would anyone miss me? Does anyone love me? Does anyone care?

Emotional set-backs and undesirable thoughts cut deep like blades. My ambitions are forever decreasing because of the feeling of not being wanted…Fearing rejection in its highest form. Yet, I have experienced rejection. Rejection because of my skin color. Rejection because of my size. Rejection because of my personality. Rejection because of my past. Rejection because of my looks. Rejection because of society’s negative stereotypes. Would anyone miss me? Does anyone love me? Does anyone care?

The interpretation of how things should be, the demonstration of how things used to be, and the motivation to enjoy the things that are happening now are not in reach because of life’s unbearable circumstances. Life is like drawing without an eraser, and someone has drawn a line setting me and the rest of the world apart. Would anyone miss me? Does anyone love me? Does anyone care?

Doubtful dreams, broken promises, and a future that has no end do not amount to the drastic measures I’ve taken just to fit in, keep friends, smile often, make others happy, and be loved. Where should I force it to be sure to hit a vain, lung, heart, or any other major artery? Maybe if I bleed, I will bleed out the hate, bleed out the hurt, bleed out the pain….soon to enter a world of new existence. Would anyone miss me? Does anyone love me? Does anyone care? I’m tired of living this life without void.

Frankie Alexander©2006